Poems by Ogden Nash

Celery

Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

The Centipede

I objurgate the centipede,
A bug we do not really need.
At sleepy-time he beats a path
Straight to the bedroom or the bath.
You always wallop where he’s not,
Or, if he is, he makes a spot.

The Cow


The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.



The Firefly

The firefly's flame Is something for which science has no name
I can think of nothing eerier
Than flying around with an unidentified glow on a
person's posteerier.
The Ostrich

The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs.

Reflections on Ice-Breaking
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.

The Purist

I give you now Professor Twist,_
A conscientious scientist,_
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"_
And sent him off to distant jungles._
Camped on a tropic riverside,_
One day he missed his loving bride._
She had, the guide informed him later,_
Been eaten by an alligator._
Professor Twist could not but smile._
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."

Samson Agonistes

I test my bath before I sit,
And I'm always moved to wonderment
That what chills the finger not a bit
Is so frigid upon the fundament.