Speaking of Mitt -
Go watch One Term More
Friday, August 31, 2012
Found For Friday
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.
The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.
The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.
After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"
The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes,..... yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say Yes? or did she say No?? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her.
"When I asked if you would marry me, did you say Yes or did you say No?"
"Why you silly man, I said, Yes. Yes I will. And I meant it with all my heart."
The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Then she continued. "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution. "No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.
Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:
"I define myself to be on the outside."
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
Lawyer and the Priest
A Truck Driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the Road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road the Truck Driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer.
Then he thought "Oh no, I have a priest in the truck I can't run down this lawyer" and at the last second the Truck Driver swerved to miss the lawyer. But, the Truck Driver heard a thump outside of the truck, he looked in his rear-view mirror but didn't see anything.
He turned to the priest and said "Sorry Father, I just missed that Lawyer at the side of the road" And the priest said "Don't worry son, I got him with my door"
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to get her."
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice.
"I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man.
"What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?"
The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
The head monk went down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him.
He heard a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying.
He asked what was wrong.
"The word is 'celebrate'," said the head monk.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
As usual I asked that the Faux News be turned off. Perhaps I shall have to write a letter.)
It had been about 10 years since I had been to the hygienist. When I retired at age 62 I lost my dental insurance and stopped going to the dentist. I didn't even brush that often and I suppose that is why I am having to have a bridge and lost 4 teeth. However she said the were not very bad and she didn't have to scrape tons of "stuff" off from them.
After she was done the Dr. came in and checked the healing. (To be honest I have not looked in my mouth because I think it is too gross. I do not open my mouth or smile when out in public because of the Clem Kadiddlehopper syndrome. (Which may have nothing to do with teeth - the Red Skelton character was hard of hearing) and I don't want to be around people and have them ask about my teeth (or lack thereof) so I just stay home with Molly who does not ask about anything except where her next treat is coming from.It should all be over by Halloween. In the meantime I will be staying away from places where people might see.
I know understand my mother a little better. She would not let anyone (not even me) see her without her teeth in. I feel that way.
I have a sonic care tooth brush which I will be using from now on. And I found out that after brushing in the evening I should not rinse my mouth but leave the paste in there and it will give me a fluoride treatment. Speaking of fluoride I also had a fluoride "varnish" on my teeth to strengthen them. It made them feel tacky all day. So that is it for today. Another bump on the road of Mundania. Cheers.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
President Obama visits Iowa State - Photos by Bob Kelly
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| Waiting in line |
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| The other President (of ISU that is) |
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| Romney supporters exercising free speech. |
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| Panorama of the scene |
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| Surveillance helicopter |
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| Presidential helicopter |
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| Thousands gather in front of the big flag |
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| Iowa State Singers sing the National Anthem, a cappella! |
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| Senator Tom Harkin |
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| Mr. President |
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| Closing challenges |
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| Wave to the crowd |
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| Tight crop of the same |
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| Waving towards happy ISU faces! |
Tuesday "Stuff
Here is a clip from The Newsroom.
I read something else today about Mr. Rmoney. In my family we fed the children first and then when they were settled we all ate. Seems that the Mittser has to go through the line first and everybody else has to wait on him. (Quote -
Must feel he is entitled or something, Enough. Have a good Tuesday.TAGG ROMNEY: A little bit of craziness. Dad always goes in line first because he doesn't want to wait for all the grand children because it takes forever. Parents are cutting their meat and he's usually finished by the time the rest of us sit down.)
Oh yes, Taylor Morris received a Bronze Star with Valor. His blog post with the videos can be found here.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Molly on Monday
It has been a quiet week here in Castle Glendale. BG has been kind of down. He had to go to the dentist again. This time he came home with 4 teeth missing. He is not eating very interesting food.
I still sit and stare at him while he eats but quite frankly he is not doing very well on the food sharing business.
After he had the teeth pulled he got some stuff called Chili. He got me some things called Sloppy Joe Sliders.
BG was kind of sad on Sunday. He got word that one of his heroes had passed away. His 93 year old cousin George Underwood who lived in Washington State got pneumonia and died. Here is his picture.BG remembers him from when he was in High School and from a couple of visits to Seattle. He was a really nice guy and his sister was BG's mother's best friend. It makes me sad too. Thanks for stopping by. Woof!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Sunday Salute XXII
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| White House Photo |
Men often refer to their wives as "their better halves." In this case I would say that both halves are equal. I admire Mrs. Obama who seems to have her priorities straight.
Wikipedia says:
Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama (born January 17, 1964) is the wife of the 44th and incumbent President of the United States, Barack Obama, and is the first African-American First Lady of the United States. Raised on the South Side of Chicago, Obama attended Princeton University and Harvard Law School before returning to Chicago and to work at the law firm Sidley Austin, where she met her future husband. Subsequently, she worked as part of the staff of Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley, and for the University of Chicago Medical Center.
...After a year as First Lady, she undertook her first lead role in an administrationwide initiative. Her goal was to make progress in reversing the 21st century trend of childhood obesity. She stated that her goal is to make this effort her legacy: "I want to leave something behind that we can say, ‘Because of this time that this person spent here, this thing has changed.’ And my hope is that that’s going to be in the area of childhood obesity."[126] She has named the movement "Let's Move!". This effort does not supplant her other efforts: supporting military families, helping working women balance career and family, encouraging national service, promoting the arts and arts education, and fostering healthy eating and healthy living for children and families across the country. She has earned widespread publicity on the topic of healthy eating by planting theWhite House Kitchen Garden, the first White House vegetable garden since Eleanor Roosevelt served as First Lady. Her 2012 book American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America is based on her experiences with the garden and promotes healthy eating. Her call for action on healthy eating has been echoed by the United States Department of Defense, which has been facing an ever expanding problem of recruit obesity.
One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don't invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.
I am an example of what is possible when girls from the very beginning of their lives are loved and nurtured by people around them. I was surrounded by extraordinary women in my life who taught me about quiet strength and dignity.
See, that's why Barack's running: to end the war in Iraq responsibly - to build an economy that lifts every family, to make sure health care is available for every American - and to make sure that every child in this nation has a world-class education all the way from preschool to college.
My first job in all honesty is going to continue to be mom-in-chief. Making sure that in this transition, which will be even more of a transition for the girls... that they are settled and that they know they will continue to be the center of our universe.
The fact is, with every friendship you make, and every bond of trust you establish, you are shaping the image of America projected to the rest of the world. That is so important. So when you study abroad, you're actually helping to make America stronger.
Previous Salutes
Audrey Hepburn Princess Diana Harry S Truman
John Shelby Spong Nelson Mandella Rachael Maddow Matt Damon
Jehan Sadat Jane Goodall Mohandas Gandhi
Eleanor Roosevelt Lyndon B. Johnson Michelle Obama
Helen Hayes Marion Wright Edelman Bishop Gene Robinson
Bishop Desmond Tutu Rachel Carson Helen Keller
Martin Luther King, Jr Dalai Lama Dag Hammarskjold
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