No Funeral Please

I have friends who are in the funeral business. I decided a couple of years ago that when I go I will not be bringing them much business.

I don't like funerals. I don't want one. My great-aunt Erma felt the same way. She stated that she did not want a funeral and yet my step-mother's son ( a minister) decided to ignore her wishes and he preformed a burial service at her committal. I remember feeling that this was wrong.

I put it in my Will that there could be a Masonic graveside service but there was to be no funeral. At that time my cousin was to be my executor. He kindly informed me that, after I was gone, I would not have much to say about that. So I changed my executor.

I went to a funeral for one of the Lodge Brothers and the pastor started out by saying that he did not know the deceased so he would be talking about someone he did know, Jesus Christ. Fortunately someone else gave a fine eulogy and the service was meaningful. The church I belonged to at that time did not have ministers so that was not going to be a problem but I really did not want a service so I decided not to have one.

The funeral directors like to tell me that it is a time for those left behind to grieve and it was like a family reunion. Well that does not appeal to me either. Those of you who read this blog know that I have been feeling very alone of late. It seems as if I, who always liked doing things alone all of a sudden need to have people in my life. I miss the idea that there is not one special person in my life but that is just the way it is. I guess I feel that if the "family" doesn't contact me or want to see me while I am alive they don't have to pretend to care about me after I am gone.

I have been "down" again and I don't like the feeling. It seems as if I am always the one on the outside looking in and I am going to have to put myself in a position where it does not hurt so much. But if people care about someone they should let them know while they are still around and not go to a funeral to show they care. Show them you care while they are still here. Perhaps I need to go out to a movie. I remember being in a play in College where one of the characters said "Sometimes you just have to go out to a movie." I think I agree with her.

There will probably be a big funeral for Jerry Falwell who died today. I did not like him. I don't think there was any thing "Christian" about him. He was a hypocrite who preached hatred and not the religion of Love that Jesus brought from the Christ. I will not be reading about him, watching any television about him or any of his so-called "Christian" brothers in the right-wing.