Wednesday Musings and some pictures

I went to the Des Moines York/Scottish Rites Ascension Day Service tonight. It was very nice. When I got back Jon was here. He has now pulled 76 ticks off Max. I even found one in my bed the other night but that was probably because I made my bed and the bed spread was on the floor. He likes his new laptop so he and I sat here and computed across from each other. Cassie sat next to him and helped him

Dennis Wendell sent me a picture of the furniture I donated to the Ames Historical Society. I must go down for a visit.

The other picture is of Bailey and his balls. He likes to push the soccer ball around and has to have something (in this case his little ball) in his mouth.

John Carlson had a column in the Des Moines Register about things he didn't care about. Among them Paris Hilton going to jail, who gets Anna Nicole Smith's money, etc. I agree. Celebrity gossip is just worship of person. I am finding that most of the shows on Television aren't worth caring about. I used to watch several of them "Heroes" "Medium" "Law and Order" etc. I have gotten so that I just don't care if they are on or off the air. I am looking forward to "Rescue Me" and "The Closer" coming back on and I still love "Desperate Housewives" "Brothers and Sisters" and my favorite show is Boston Legal (I secretly like lawyers) David E. Kelly has consistently done some of the best shows on Television but I am ready to kick back listen to music and read some books.

Things will get better. I found this poem on the web. I could have written it. It tells a little bit about what I have been feeling.

This is a dark night in my life

I guess there are things a man doesn't tell others...
they just haunt him inside...
this is a dark night in my life...
i cannot sleep...
frustrated...sad
has your heart ever hurt so much you thought it was gonna explode?
'love is a losing game'...
plays on the radio...is it true?
i will never be what you want me to be...
but i am...
right here in my heart
too bad you can never see what i want you to see
to a child from a broken home a kiss is as good as a kick
and right now i am feeling a pain in the pit of my stomach
and right now i am feeling a pain all over my heart
i was not made for this
love is for the strong and stupid
i am careless and naive...
and misunderstood
a deadly combination.
don't plot against me- you have already won
there is no prize
just nights of lost sleep
just dreams of what could've been
sometimes i am spread too thin
trying to make everyone happy is not easy
especially when no one tries to put a smile on my face
just nights of lost sleep

'as a child i wrote messages
on birch bark, thin as breath,
and practised soundless walking
barefoot, in the forest.

the messages were for you'

Thanks to all who have responded to the readings between the lines. This is a time of change in my life and I feel somewhat fragile. I appreciate each of you and I will get through it. My God, I am 65 years old it is about time I grew up. Put the Pity Party on hold and do something about it. Be Loved. j