Bad - Oh so very bad.

The Itch 

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Ted the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

 

One day Ted revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Ted to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Ted readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed . Soon after she dressed , the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Ted would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Ted to their chambers.. Horatio then slipped Ted the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Ted worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved , and Ted left satisfied and hailed as a hero.. Upon returning to his chamber, Ted found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins . With his obsession now satisfied , Ted couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to 'get lost'.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Ted.

The moral of the story.............

                  Pay your bills