Monday, January 28, 2008
Don't mess with Iowa Farmers
Jack Watts sent me this. (Of course I had to retype it because he sent hard copy. But I will make any effort for my blogfriends.)
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and now I am going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Iowa. We settle small disagreements like this; with the 'Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, what is the Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy
work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The Lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face first into a fresh cow-pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will, managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his coat he said, "Okay, you old fart, now it's MY turn."
[I love this part....]
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah , I give up. You can have the duck."