Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What is the difference between men and women ... ?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A: Rename the folder to "Instructions Manuals".