...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732



Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The War Between the Sexes

Men
Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around
in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.

Q: How can you tell if a man is well-hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him, or three - one to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Women
WOMEN'S T-SHIRTS

A WASHINGTON POST columnist runs a column each summer listing interesting "WOMEN'S T-shirts" observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach.

1. I CHILDPROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU'RE A TREE.

3. I'M STILL HOT... IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, "GETTING LUCKY" MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I'M NOT 50. I'M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

1 comment:

Dianne said...

6. LIFE IS SHORT. MAKE FUN OF IT.

words to live by LOL