...the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. Geo. Washington Feb. 22, 1732

Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
Robert Kennedy, South Africa 1966.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Monday Funny

Thanks to Jean M for this.

These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country: [these are some mighty 'quick witted' cops!]

1. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

2. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

3. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

4. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

5. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

6. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'

7. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

8. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

9. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

10. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

11. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

12. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

13. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

14. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

15. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'


16. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.' [Ouch!]

1 comment:

Dianne said...

"Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

oh that made me laugh!