Thursday, January 10, 2008

Two Cousins - Two Jokes

Tracy sent me this:

To All Employees:

I have compiled a Master Reference binder for all staff. Inside this binder you will find 'solutions' to everyday problems.

If you are having problems with the photocopier, difficulty dealing with co-workers, having computer problems, customer problems, personal problems, or any kind of problem, please come and get the red binder and it will help you through your issue.

Use the red binder for all is guaranteed to make you stress-free and relaxed

Randy sent this one

'A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic Garbage bags with her, one in each hand.

There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20
Bill flies out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her...'Ma'am, there are $20 bills
Falling out of that bag...'

'Damn!' says the little old lady.....'I'd better go back and see if
I Can still find some. Thanks for the warning!'

'Well, now, not so fast,' says the cop. 'How did you get all that
Money? 'Did you steal it?'

'Oh, no', says the little old lady. 'You see, my back yard backs up
To the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game,
a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!'

'So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and
Each time someone sticks his little thingie through the bushes, I
Say: $20 or off it comes!'

'Hey, not a bad idea!' laughs the cop. 'OK, good luck!

By the way, what's in the other bag?'

'Well', says the little old lady, 'not all of them pay.'

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