Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Thanks to David C for the forward. Lots to think about here.

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to Criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow" .


Dianne said...

Those are great!

All I could possibly add is that, in my experience, men have a third emotion - Sleepy. This is usually felt right after sex and a sandwich :)

gpadon said...

Just a thought in passing---An immigrant is, by definition, one who comes to a country to take up permanent residence legally.
An alien; however, owes allegiance to some other country or government.
When are those silicon chips going to be ready for implantation? ---Orwellian!(LOL)
I enjoyed the thoughts. Thank you!