Found for Fridays

Bailey and I have been searching the web and found the following for your enjoyment.







































For those of you who aren't spelling proficient look up the word official in the dictionary - This came with the caption "Must have been a Republican"

































Blonde Pole Dancer




















The Knife And Fork Degree

I do not attend the meetings,
for I've not the time to spare.
But every time they have a feast,
you will surely find me there.
I cannot help with the degrees,
for I do not know the work.
But I sure can applaud the speaker,
and handle a knife and fork.
I'm so rusty in the ritual,
that it seems like Greek to me,
but practice has made me perfect
in the knife and fork degree.

Author unknown



There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play Golf and do lots of things that took two arms.

One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life.

He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whistling and kicking up his heels again.

He asked, 'Why are you so happy anyway?'

He said, 'I'm NOT happy ... My balls itch

And finally some Puns- Stop here if you don't like them. Have a great weekend. j
1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

4. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

5. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months

6. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A

7. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it!

8. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

9. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

10. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

11. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is just two-tired.

12. A will is a dead giveaway.

13. A backward poet writes inverse.

14. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

15. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in linoleum blownapart.

16. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. A calendar's days are numbered.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

20. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

21. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.








Created by OnePlusYou